We’re having a beach party and everyone’s invited! That’s right, even you. We’re on the corner of Swan St and Finder’s Lane, in the big office building. I know what you’re thinking: how can you have a beach party in an office building? There’s no beach there! Well, you’re wrong about that! We just had our office completely changed by an office designer near Melbourne, and now it looks like the perfect beach. Our carpet has been replaced with sand, we had the windows opened to let the sunlight in (although our position in the city hurts this feature a bit) and have flooded part of the office to form our own personal ocean. It’s awesome!
Come on down and see the perfection of our office fitout. Melbourne doesn’t have a cooler office (although not literally, since we’re turned up the heaters to simulate the summer warmth), with our big beach umbrellas and volleyball nets. Everyone is having a great time. What about our work? Who has time for work when you’re at a constant beach party? And the best part? No sunburns!
No suits and ties here. Just swimsuits and flies (yes, we have actual flies. We borrowed some from the MEGACORP offices across the road). You’ll never find a better beach simulation than ours. Entry is only $99. Wait, you thought this was free? How are we supposed to make money if we’re not working? But trust me, that’s a great price for a day’s admission. Concession is $97 if that helps (we won’t even check your concession card, we’ll just take your word for it). If you like it here, we have a membership package for only a thousand dollars. Rip off? The only thing that’s being ripped off here is the level of boredom in this office. If you can find a better beach simulation, complete with litter, syringes and men o’ war, we’ll personally see them destroyed, so don’t even bother. See you soon!