Bad Bones

How do you turn your house into your dream home when the interior architecture of the space is fundamentally flawed? That’s the question I’m currently mulling over. See, I bought this place because of the location, the land and the price, thinking I’d renovate into something that was more to my liking. Turns out it’s …

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Beach Office

We’re having a beach party and everyone’s invited! That’s right, even you. We’re on the corner of Swan St and Finder’s Lane, in the big office building. I know what you’re thinking: how can you have a beach party in an office building? There’s no beach there! Well, you’re wrong about that! We just had …

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Door Curse

I think I might be cursed. No matter what I do, my doors always get broken. I put up barriers, traps, it doesn’t matter. Even if I had doors made of steel, they would get broken. Did I step under a ladder while spilling salt and smashing several mirrors, all without even noticing? Because if …

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Galactic Solar Energy

Today was just one of those days, you know? Work isn’t always easy, especially when you’re harnessing the power of a thousand suns, funnelling that same power into electricity and sending it across the galaxy. I had to meet with the Ruler of Planet today. His name was Donny Trumpet or something. Honestly, I can’t …

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Agent Woes

How does this keep happening to me? Once again I have passed up on a novel that has gone on to be a bestseller. I feel like the kind of person that was offered 1000 stocks in tech company ‘Fruit’ for a few cents in the 1980s and passed it up. Or could have bought …

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The Premier’s Predicament

Well, I didn’t expect that to backfire so spectacularly. Turns out I’m the only one that came into work today, all ready for our next tabletop role-playing session of Grottos and Goblins. Who knew that my entire staff would be too weak-willed to come into work with the air conditioner broken? Even though the state …

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My First Tattoo

I’ve heard the saying “everyone remembers their first” my entire life. And it’s true, with each of my new firsts symbolising an important stage of transition in my life.  I remember the first time I rode a bike, for example. My parents took me to the local oval and promised they would hold onto me. …

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This Metal Steed

Bah, vehicles! BAH, I say! Time was that you could get anywhere in the kingdom by simply leaping astride your gigantic swine, performing a simple weightless enchantment and soaring through the sky, conducting the winds like an orchestra to push you to your destination. I learned today that people of this realm have been driving …

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The Big Race

I’m ready for the race of my life. It’ll be fast, but I’m faster. It’ll be tough, but I’m tougher. It’ll be insane, but I lost my mind several years ago. For two hours I’ll be driving from Brisbane to Brigalow, with a checkpoint in Toowoomba. Auto electrical shops will be happy, given how beat …

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