The Unicorn Child

My husband and I brought our baby home from the hospital recently. It was such a joyous occasion. We had all of our family around at our house to celebrate, and they each brought gifts to make the transition to parenting even easier.

This is our first child, and we really want to do things right. We’ve read all the parenting books we could get our hands on, and one of them suggested that we make an effort to renovate our child’s bedroom. We have already made a little space with a crib and a dangling light fixture, but the book suggested we add some unicorn wall art, or something that can help promote our child’s imagination.

I want my child to be a super genius and take over the world, so it’s important that I follow exactly what the book says in order to make that happen. Tomorrow, my husband and I are going to visit a wallpaper store in our local area and pick out some unicorn wall art designed in Melbourne. I’m going to bring our child with us, and narrate everything that’s happening around us. I want him to be able to talk by the time he’s six weeks old, and that is only going to happen if we make a proper effort to teach him the English language as a baby.

My husband has already looked at the store’s inventory online and has picked out a self adhesive removable unicorn wallpaper. It’s meant to be quite simple to apply, and although we do love a challenge I ultimately feel that this is for the best. We already have barely enough time as it is, and a baby has made this even worse. Once we’ve purchased the wallpaper, we’re going to come home and apply it to my baby’s bedroom immediately. It shouldn’t take too long at all. This is only a good thing. My baby is going to be the next Einstein, and we have a lot to teach him.