Leave Aluminium Alone!

I’ve been watching Gabrielle’s Broadcast Bites for…oh, about three episodes now? I’m not sure I like it very much, but it’s like trainwreck television: you can’t look away. This is just as bad as Eurovision, except this doesn’t have the dignity to try to distract you with sequined outfits and catchy-yet-terrible songs.

Briella thinks she’s being direct, but she’s just mean. She pulls guests onto the show under false pretenses, seemingly just to tear them apart when they think they’re getting an interview to talk about their hobbies, jobs, interests or whatever else. She just had a guy on the show from the Aluminium Appreciation Society, and everyone knows those guys are harmless. They get together to talk about commercial ute canopies, and to make a big fuss about any new aluminium products they can find. This young guy comes and sits opposite Gabrielle, it’s all smiles and he looks like he’s about to talk about his hobby. Turns out that he didn’t get to do much talking at all, because Gabrielle just had a go at him for seven minutes for having a ‘weird’ hobby. 

Yeah, makes total sense, Gabrielle. People who are enthusiastic about one of the most common and useful metals are totally crazy. You’d think she’d never even heard of those guys who dress up like characters from My Small Horsie and hang around near schools. 

I guess Gabrielle really couldn’t get anyone else to appear on the show, because they knew what they were in for, so she’s scraping the bottom of the barrel going after people who are into ute trays. Melbourne television really needs better standards and practices, even for shows broadcast at 3am by vindictive savages like Gabrielle.

I used to think her column was bad, but now she’s more desperate than ever. Going after 4×4 ute canopies? The things that every other tradie uses? Great idea, you hack.

-Susanna