Plan Failed. Again.

Are you serious? The Dirge is getting credit for my plan? After all the time I put into it, and the beautiful accident of my flower petal cannons having synergy with Weather Machine 5000, my rival is being credited with it. I should have known this would happen as soon as that Channel 17 reporter posted his article. The mainstream media took the idea that it was the Dirge and ran with it. Now every real news channel is reporting on him.

Well, at least I’ve made the world a better place. Yes, a lot of buildings and streets have been destroyed, and the hybrid tea rose is still on the loose, but public parks have never looked better. And if you’re looking for ground cover roses, you can find them pretty much anywhere at the moment.

It’s just annoying, especially since the Dirge is only fuelling the speculation. He hasn’t outright claimed to be the mastermind behind the Rose War, but he might as well have. If you read his social media posts, almost every one of them implies that he had this whole thing planned out.

There’s not much I can do about it now, other than putting this one in the trash with all my other plans. Nobody will believe me if I start shouting about how it was me all along. They’ll think I’m a fake, trying to steal the spotlight from another genius. So I’ll just go back to working on my personal garden. I need to buy seeds online, then I’ll be able to add the next set of colours. I’m thinking it’s time for some yellow to go along with all the red.

A few people will see this blog post, I’m sure. If you do, I encourage you to go through my previous posts and see that it really was me that caused this flower apocalypse. I won’t count on it, though. I’ll just accept that the Dirge wins this one. Doesn’t he always?

– Dr Dark McBane